Happy New Year 2011!

It's coming to an end..
Happy New Year 2011 everyone.May God bless you with His abundance blessings

Friends for life

I have few friends,really close ones.But there's always some of them are always there whenever i needed them,they are:

A friend that comes to me first whenever I needed a shoulder
Coincidently,we study at the same state after form 5,and hangs out whenever there's time

Thank you girl♥
We have been through many thick and thins since secondary school.We laugh,we ponteng,we fight against the teacher,we snap many many pictures,I copy account answer from you xD,you gave me the bag as present,we tuition together,so many many many things girl

~Batu Feringghi~

my birthday present by u eh

I like this lots~


account punya talk we attended
♥you girl,you are a blessing to me,sometimes,words are not needed,because we often say the same things,the bluetooth between us is good♥
The next one is xion:

Thank you for willingly to spend ur money to call me and listen to me

[ What did u say har?hmm]

Err,nothing..really nothing...,haha
Thank u for sacrificing most of your time when I'm back in our hometown,you drives me around and accompany me with my chores.We talk cold jokes,we gossip,we post,

Orang tidur pun dia capture,ahah~Actually i want him to capture de,he dun really like to take pictures,but will always coorparate with me.When we argue,there's like no tomorrow,when you talk about cold jokes,i laugh like it was nobody's business.When u see me in KB,u will see him.Thank you :).I really appreciate it

God has bless me with these two people :)
♥u guys loads~

..

不停的坠落,只因为你..
你却不曾发现

Dad and mum in Penang

So,dad and mum come to penang on the 7th to see their 3 Princesses.
Previously,i forget to count in two,dad was not quite happy with it,haha




aha..sorry dad
We stayed at er jie's house and there is this swing where i started to sit on it first,then dad and mum eventually join is
-A picture of them-

take two

They are so cute,hands in hands,hahaha,i laughed real hard when I see his expression.
♥

Then we went for christmas dinner at Bukit Jambul

be.your princess~

或许你没看出来
周围的人都在猜
有种感觉正在我们之间展开
喜欢你偶而作怪
不经意流露的坏
其实体贴实在
孩子气的胸怀
曾经有过的恋爱
彷佛一片空白
直到遇见你我才真的存在
我只想做你的公主
拥有那平凡的幸福
华丽的珍珠
不如眼底的专注
对我深深呵护
我想我是你的公主
终结这多年的追逐
当你抱着我
地球也暂停脚步
我刹那间清楚
你是我的幸福
沉潜太久的孤独
这一刻获得救赎
我忽然好想哭
感激你这一路
陪我笑陪着我辛苦
无悔的付出

Praise Him!

Finally..
Results are out.Skilltest result is also out.Evaluation is over.I.am.simply.thankful.
A few of my classmates left.Sadly.
This is already the third semester,time flies.I can't imagine how I survive through this 3 semesters.I did it all by His grace.
I would like to share a few testimonies here.God answers prayers!
This is a tougher semester for us.There's really not much time left but I admit i played a lot :( my bad.
I felt scared as the exam comes nearer and nearer.At this moment I prayed really hard.
We were not allowed revision week,just imagine,a week before our finals and we are still working in the ward.>.<, and there's a skilltest waiting for us also! Oh dear,i sigh.I went for remediation class and read through the notes.Thank God that there was this classmate of mine who explain chapter to chapter.Things begin to happen,my classmates started to fall sick,one of them even needed to be admitted for appendectomy,a surgery lah.Then more and more of them starts to cough and sneeze,sigh,everybody is having stress ++.I pray for God's healing hands to be upon them,my roommate fell sick too,mind you,very very high fever.She was trembling when I force her to take up for a cup of water,and hey,the usual and mostly sick me remain healthy.Thank God!
Medical surgical paper pass through
then second day Obstetric nursing,This paper,I can feel my heartbeat.Tachycardia.
Eventually psychology paper and sociology went along well,I still remain heealthy.The next one will be skilltest.I was scheduled on the last day.T.T
My tutor is ....only my college friends will understand ^^.I felt stress because many of my classmate did not archieve their desired marks.I prayed hard that the procedure I get will be easy and I will be able to gain coorperation from the patient.For your info,skilltest is something you perform injection,bandage,clean the wound all this la on the patient and the teacher will give u marks on it.At first I wanted to give medication IV,but the patient is going to be discharge.Uh~oo.Next I wanted to serve medication but the patient refuse.OH~no.All my partners has gone through their procedures except me.Arrgh!I prayed for procedure.There was two in the end.My hand was shaking when I gave an injection to the patient.Suprisingly,she praise me in front of my tutor saying that it was not pain.Aww,thank you.
I got my marks for the skilltest.It was a happy one.Next is the theory exam,I rush to the board to find my secret code,thank God,I pass all.Sadly,a few of them are leaving.We won't be 52 again.God bless you my friends :)

每一次看你的户口,原来心里的那根刺不曾离开,依然很疼，
有时候,疼是什么感觉？是想起你时心里那股酸酸的感觉,还是脸上一笑而过的瞬间？我不知道.
你给的承诺曾经是我精神上的支柱,我还记得你握着我的手，望进我眼睛对我说:"我不会离开你，这双手会永远握着你的手给你力量，陪你度过那些痛苦的回忆，乖,我要把你所有的不开心统统抹去，从今天起我只希望看见你的笑容，我就开心了."那时，握着你的手，让暖意自你手心流进我心房你,那一刻，我觉得我是幸福的.
如今，一切已变得一个即美丽却充满杀伤力的谎言,你走了，我却还在原地徘徊

Babies

This week I'm working in the maternity ward.That means I will be dealing with babies♥.
People say nurses are crazy people because they can deal with so much blood yet they are really calm.Well,I begin to think about this.
This week,I witness a baby's delivery again.This mum suffered so much pain.Mummy's are really great.When I see the whole process,I myself feel like crying,there was so much pain to bare.It was a baby boy! But poor little thing,after he opened up his eye,the left side of the eye is greyish,the pepils is greyish,goodness! I clamped his cord and after the injection,the baby was handed to the mother for the bonding.
The next day,I took the report and was told that the baby is blind in one side,poor little thing.I do hope that his eye can be cured,he's so small.
Babies are really nice to cuddle especially when they smile at you,I bet your heart will melt away.I cupfeed one of the girl,she really feed a lot,the amount of her feed won over all the babies there,and after we feed her,she was placed back in the cubicle and she smiled at us,awwwww♥
The scariest part working in this ward is the part bathing babies,I'm really scared of that,because they are so small and just cry non stop once you opened up their clothes.Yet,they are still so cute♥

Here is one of the picture,I was trying to call the baby to open his eyes,coinccidently,my friend captured,his face looks so blur,cute-nya!

One of my clinical experience

This week I'm working in morning shift,I received the report from the staff nurse from the night shift,my patient is in DIL-dead in list,uh-o.
I organize my care for her,it is not easy to take care of such heavy patient,with so many bedsores :(.
I look at her condition,it must be really painful for her.She is not able to move,quadriphlegia.Her mouth is already cracked and clot with blood clots,I cleaned her mouth v the glove and cotton,she was mad at me :(,sorry ah ma,but it is for ur own good.It is a big task when we want to turn her.I needed help from 3 others of my friend to lift her up.She couldn't eat,I can only feed her through the nasogastric tube.:(
She has got so many many many many medications to serve,I crush it and feed it through the tube.Her children came and see her many times a day.Everytime I look into her eyes,I can feel the sadness in her eyes,she knows her own condition very well.I felt nervous whenever i do a procedure for her,her skin is so fragile.
She's discharged as the doctor told her family members to be prepared.

Ah po,may God bless You and guide You in His own way,i will pray for you :)

爱了就算

觉得孤单
心绪摇晃
分分合合的情事难断
披着月光
没人做伴
我的笑我的泪
不敢多讲
爱的路上
谁不受伤
越多的渴望就越觉沧桑
顶着阳光
一路去闯
眼角泪光
你不去想
有些甜总是无人分享
有些苦你要自己去尝
有些寂寞也仿佛是永远不可能忘
最爱的人常不再身旁
人生本来它就是这样
也总要学着
爱了就算爱过就放
爱了就算没有负担
爱过就放别为难
就算受伤又怎样
有过一次痴狂
一生难忘

I can't tahan liao!

I feel like I'm going to burst.Arrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Why is it so tough?w h y?Why i choose this course? i choose this college,why I choose him and make him part of my life?
I am so frustrated with myself,frustrated with my health,frustrated with my studies,frustrated with my job!Everything seems so tough now,after the junior joined us,there are even more pressure.(sorry ah,not to say bo welcome you all la)Tutors always say:You are in year two already next time how to lead the juniors?They will be working with you you know?Arrgh!
Serve more than 20 medication and you expect us to remember the dosage,indications,adverse reactions,purpose in a time *roll eyes*
It has been more than half a year,half a year girl,why are you still not letting go?Why?Lupakan dia sajalah stupiak,people dun even remember you anymore ah,stop being so selfish to yourself and others.
Everything seems to go down down down down to the hill,who is there to explain?Myself.
Performance is going down down down,who's there to explain?Myself :(
Pointer going down down down!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
Why is psychology so tough?
Why is Obstetric Nursing so tough yet the babies are so cute?
Why is Gynaecology so tough?
Why is gastrointestinal system so gay?Why ah??
Why is the people around can smile so sweetly in front of me then talk soooooo many bad things behind?Faker!
Why are there more and more rules in this college?We ain't primary kids!
I need to push everything up up UP again, *self motivate*
kesiannya *:(*
go and date your book and stop thinking too much la...
*ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH*
*ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH*
I felt better,fuh~

Happy 19th to me!

This year's birthday was really an unforgettable one,thank you Lord for these wonderful people that help me to celebrate although the next day is our final paper for pengajian Malaysia,i'm so touch!
Had 3 cakes this year,and presents :) :),will update abt it soon

Sick..

Everything went well all the way,I can't even recall when was the last time I was sick.Yesterday after dinner at Lip Wei's house,I went and sat doen,suddenly I felt weak and started to shiver.It was awfully cold,I began to feel that my body was hot,Lip Wei covered me with a layer of blanket and another layer of comforter,I felt better,but still it was cold.My body started to ache,the feeling was horrible!
I went back to er jie's house later on and went straight to bed,yet I couldn't sleep the whole night,kept waking up and go to the toilet,I keep forcing myself to drink glasses after glasses of H2o.Poor er jie,I woke up once she also woke up once.We are both the sensitive type,little bit of sound also can wake up T.T
Till this morning i still feel the aching of the muscles,then diarrhoea comes along,oh no!!!
What is happening to me?

random

Today after came back from jogging,I went online,log into friendster,went and ''click'' my testi box,hoho,those were the days,so many memories there.
I read back the testimonial and started to miss many of my friends.There are some who still keeps contact with me,there are also some who left forever.People come into our life for a reason in a season huh?
Cheers~

New sem new rules~

It has been the second week since the class started.It is really stressful for us.The very first day,we are already been given some assignment to do,and it is before we started ANYTHING.Then the tutor also announce that there will be a quiz,mak oii! Class belum start lagi sudah ada quiz >.<
Tak pe..kite proceed ke next one
New Sem,New Rules..Previously we are requested to join worship in the morning and in the evning except for Friday and Saturday.Now,we are "invited" to go on Fri and Sat too,not to mention the curfew hours 7p.m.
For the library area,there was previously a librarian to take care of the library until the night,9.30p.m.Now,the college has announced that the senior classes students will need to take care of the library,each week,there will be each student from 3 classes appointed to take care of the library,and they will place us all in the morning shift.Maknanya we work in the ward from 6.30 till 1p.m.Then lunch time,Then skillslab from 2-3.30,then after that we are supposed to take care of the library until 9.30!!
I was working in the morning shift this week,it is really very tiring,as the previous day we rush our careplan till very late at night and wakes up at 5 in the morning to prepare ourself to work.As usual I work until 1p.m and has a break until 2.Then skillslab is 2-3.30p.m and after skillslab we have class from 4.15-6.15!Oh boy!We still need to cross the road to go back to the old college for evening worship!Gosh,I can't stand it anymore.I decide to move out out out!
Out from adventist court,it will be a great relieve :)
Hopes to hear the good news from college soon for the approval :)

t o n g

Previously,I love raining days.Now,things seems to change. because when the weather is cold,my leg will go very very very painful.Arthritis?Oh no!
I was working in Medical 2 last week,afernoon shift,I noticed every step i took I can feel the bone at the knee there ''krak krak'' punya suara,like the way you guys usually ''krak'' ur hand.Then it goes worse to as I sit down and shake my leg the same thing happens.
After one week,my knee begin to feel painful,now it is a constant pain yet I am standing more than 6 hours a day,oh nonono!
Tomorrow is morning shift again.
p/s:I hope that it will disappear from me as soon as possible

Holidays...

So we had finish those exams.Blah..
and we are having two weeks of holiday.
The problem is....is...I feel so bored staying at home!! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!
When there is class,we are too
OCCUPIED
When there is holiday,we are too
FREE~
arrrrgh!I feel like i'm rotting at home!
3 more days to go and I will be going back to Penang again.Wuwa/!!

..

Everything was so soon! I went to Ipoh on Sunday to visit Uncle Chong,i was there on the first night and second night,he cough non stop.
He strggled through out the night,I was there beside him,he was alert although he is under morphine,uncle,i miss the healthy u,you used to be so cool.
Tuesday afternoon,I came home for a nap,after waking up,aunty Rose broke a bad news to me,he is gone..forever...It just happen so...soon.
Rest in peace uncle..I love you.

on running assessment

Today running assessment result is announced by my tutor.When I step into her office,her first question is :''Su Ling,do I look like a tiger to you?
Me:zha dao*er..yes..
She was stunted by my answer..
*i only answer the truth ma*
well,all in all,i pass,sangat lazy to elaborate!
Thank God for answering my prayers

Lua Hui Min!!!!

Lua Hui Min!
I miss you!
come back to Penang fast fast la!Holiday ka ane song,ish ish

On Running Assessment

Running assessment is this week.For my friends,running assessment is something like a practical exam.The tutor will give us assignment on the day itself.That means we are not allowed to take careplan and get ourself prepared.!!!
Today is my running assessment,I am under Madam Lim @.@.
Many seniors told me :Jia you.So you guys can imagine lah..
She is the vice principal of my college and is an extremely strict person>My stomach was really full of butterflies.Clearance was with me in Medical 1A.
But He is always good!.The previous day of the running assessment,I went to the ward and look at all the patien's diagnosis and procedures.But there was one particular patient that i having sinusitis and chest infection.I prayed hard before i take his chart and read.Out of 23 patients,I chose his without knowing which patient I will actually take care of the next day.
When I went to the ward today,Madam Lim sat down and started to assign me and Clearance,Our room was just beside,and hey!indeed I get the patient that I prayed for yesterday.Amen friends?I was so relieved and thankful.Thank God for listening and answering my prayer.I perform a few procedures and one went wrong >.<.
:ater was the careplan part,this is really the 1st time ever I did such a proper one in a short time.She added a few things than other tutors.I managed to pass up my careplan by His grace on time.I pray that everyone will pass!Jia you 2012,there is still 2days more to go,next week will be our theory exam :(

p/s:I'm going to have a goooood sleep tonight. =D

Tell me.How am I supposed to be happy?

I'm really happy whenever i think of going home.Oh,it's such a joy!Especially when the college announce this Monday is a holiday,i tell you ppl,the joy in my heart can never be expressed.I decided to go back to my hometown this weekend,though it's really rushing,my friends ask me,HAR??GO BACK ONE DAY YOU ALSO SONG AR??,my answer is yes!very song,as though the whole world is dancing.
Sadly,happy moment never last.Miss Chin came in and talk about our theory exam,the topics are really wide.For your info,this sem we are only allowed to fail ONE subject,of course I am not thinking of failling.But after I listen to the formats and the topic she's giving out during the exam,i begin to turn @.@.The worst of the worst is not here yet.After our lunch,Miss Florence and Miss Ho,our class teacher came in and brief us on the running assessment.Running assessment is someting like the teachers sees you doing the procedure and how you communicate with the patient from head to toe.Oh my goodness!If we fail this,we die.We fail theory,we also die.I'm so FORTUNATE to get her as my clinical instructor for running assessment.After looking at my schedule,i turned to oh-i'm-so lucky-and-bahagia,while others turn so happily back to their seats.Sh*T!Thinking of the day of running assessment makes me go butterflies.Miss Florence then announced another news:''Class,due to the insuffiency signature of your log book,your vacation will be shorten to 1 week,you will need to stay and work for the signatures.'
Mak oi,are we to be blame for not getting thoe stupid signatures?Our seniors get 1 whole month of holday during our semester,ours had already been cut to 3 weeks,and now you people are cutting ti to ONE WEEK??ONE WEEK?hello~It is totally unfair for those who only get back to see their beloved one once a year!You expect us to get high marks in both practical and theory,this is our responsibility,but can you all stop giving us pressure by keep saying want to send us back?
Exam is so near and we don't even have a revision week!
*arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh*
I feels much better after pouring all these out.
Jia you class 2012!We all can do it! =D

I wish

Went to Ipoh last week.Uncle Chong is sick.I couldn't understand when aunty Helen describe his condition until I went and see him.
Uncle is currently under morphine,he has hallucinations on and off.As i spend my night in the hospital,I felt sad,it touches my heart and make me feel so pain.Last time when he was well,I remember being very scared of him,he's the no-nonsense type.But as I get along with him,he's so nice.I remember him walking me down the street with aunty when I visited Ipoh.Till now,although I come back to Penang,I still cannot accept that he's suffering from such illness.He used to be a strong man in my mind.
Now,by looking how frail at him,i feels sad.Especially when he sudden he suddenly get up from his bed,hugging me and kiss me on my forehead praising me for accompanying him in the hospital.My tears fell in silence.I wish that I can see the old-uncle Chong that I knew.
Uncle,do stay strong,we love you and we are always by your side supporting you,please don't give up on your radiotherapy.
Friends,do pray for my uncle =D

arrgh!

Monday
Tuesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday....

I am still sick..arrrgh!8 days adi i've been eating without taste,horrible!
*sighs*

voiceless tiger

Had been sick for 3days.Arrgh.
First day-
flu+slight fever+din sweat whole day
I took it for granted

2nd day-
flu+fever+slight sore throat+muscle ache
they ask me to see the doctor,but thinking of the quizes,i decided to ignore it once more.Lip Wei came with Yin and brought me for dinner,fish head bihun,lip wei called it as 病人吃的东西,walaowei!Had a panadol at night.

3rd day-
flu+fever+muscle ache+sore throat+cough+blood in sputum in the morning.
Hor sei liao,quiz or no quiz,after the quiz,i went and see the doctor,took mc,came back with 5 types of medicine.I took the medicine for flu and felt drowsy,I didin't know the effect was so intense,the laptop was on my knee as I was on MIMS.com,suddenly I felt it slip down,luckily it fell to my bed.Sorry dear lappie :)

Now,7.32 p.m
doing careplan,yet tomorrow i am in morning shift,really hor sei liao,Jia you jia you!
I hope my voice will be back by tomorrow :(

回忆

在爱情里，最痛苦的
不是分离，不是背叛
而是，该死的回忆

一首歌，一篇文章，一部电影
都会勾起那深埋在心底的思念
一幕幕的回忆，就如印影机般
原封不动的把你脑海里的画面
印影在一张张的白纸上，无所遁形

回忆的来袭，你阻止不了，更预防不了
它好比是一种无药可解的绝症，无法被根治
曾经有过的画面，不管好的坏的，快乐的悲伤的
都会在你俩分开后，寂静的夜晚，独自一人时
如海啸般毫无预警的扰乱你宁静的生活步调
不管利用何种方法，也避免不了它的来袭

然而，回忆之所以美好，只因为它是回忆
当回忆变成现实时，一切就不再变得美好
因为，现实永远是残酷的
生活如此，爱情亦是

最凄美的爱情，是回忆里那一段最真挚的感情
最悲哀的爱情，也是回忆里那一段曾经的感情
因为，它最终的位置
也只能成为你心里的
回忆

a disgusting thing I saw in the restaurant

Friday,I went to Jacilyn's house,we went and tapao some drinks ofr a chill.The weather is so hot!BUT i saw something that make we won't want to go there anymore.I've taken my meals there several times because the price is quite reasonable andthe food is tasty,BUT the hygiene makes ma want to...
We odered our drinks and waited for it,then I saw this aunty pouring out the dirty water unto the floor,the next step,I saw her using her barehands and took out the chopsticks and spoons from the drain that drop earlier on,and just threw into the basin that is filled with dirty soaps.Immediately I canceled my order and took a canned drink.It is so disgusting!!!
I will NEVER.EVER go there again

The very first jab I give

I'm still so excited although it has been 4 hours since my shift ended.Today,I got a suprise procedure,that's giving intramuscular injection,injection ar!!When the stuff nurse ask me I was like:''Huh?So fast can give injection already??
I went and prepare the syringe and proceed to the patient's room.The stuff nurse that supervise me politely ask the patient's family to wait outside for a moment.The husband and daughter then went out,but the daughter came in again.Actually we are not suppose to let people observe when we are doing a procedure.The daughter look at me anxiously waiting for me to give her mother the injection.Mak oi,the more she look at me the more i become tense up,i use the cotton alchohol swab and swab the buttock,and then inject,I learn that when giving an injection,one cannot hesitate or else you won't be daring enough to give,I aspirate to make sure there's no blood and push the medicine in.At last...Thank God everything went well.This is my very first injection I give,it was not really good and I know that I need more improvement.Improvement people..hohoho..who's the next victim?

Have a nice day..
^^v

Another injection.

Tuesday.
In the morning I went and take my report for yesterday's blood test,*fuh*..I look at the bruise on my hand,masih so dark,yesterday I look at the lab person,Mr Tommy inject into my hand and draw the blood.He was fast,as the needle poke in,I felt the pain.
Back to the point,the result shows non reactive!Arrgh! Means to say I need to get a booster,after 3 doses of injection,my antibody still not enough???New Su Ling,you need to keep fit! I went to the pharmacy and took my medicine,mind you,it is a cold dose.The medicine need to be given immediately,I then proceeded to the emergency room.There was so busy today,soooooo many people,I waited for my turn.The staff nurse then called me and gave me the booster,I felt the cold medicine inside my body,my hand felt numb.I look at her inject into my muscle,intramuscular injection.In two days I took two injection @.@.
3.30p.m
It was class for Skin,I skipped and went to the audithorium room to receive an acknowledgent from the hospital.One of the patient wrote and compliment about me,I was the only student there,make me so nervous.Pastor then came and tell me that all the people sitting there are the head of every department.@.@ Listening to this makes me lagi @.@.
They called my name and read out what the patient wrote about me,I was then presented a voucher with a tupperware.After that was photo session.I then rush back to class and continue my lectures.
Good Luck everyone for tomorrow's quiz on skin and good night people :)

♥越害怕失去他，你越會失去他 ♥

當你愛上一個人，你越害怕會失去他，最後，你通常會失去他。

每一次很愛一個人，你會有這種感覺，你愛的好害怕。跟他在一起的時候，你很快樂，快樂的好不真實，好像靈魂出竅一樣的站在天空看著自己，看著自己很快樂的大笑大哭，看著自己像演連續劇一樣的不真實，看著他好像觸碰到電視機裡的超真實偶像，你好快樂，但是很害怕，害怕自己演的只不過是一齣戲，時間到了就要 ending。
每一次很愛一個人，你會無時無刻的想要緊握他的手，你好害怕，如果你一不小心鬆開了手，他就會從你手邊飛走，他就像是個氣球，你帶著他炫耀，卻又害怕氣球沒有氣了、飛不起來了、被風吹走了，在你不注意的時候用很快的速度遠離你了。你手心流著汗，緊緊的把線纏在手上，卻又害怕不小心把線折斷，你說你好愛他，你不敢放手，你一直仰望著他，望著他...

每一次很愛一個人，你就會失去自信，你害怕世界上比你更美麗、更可愛的女孩會引起他的注意，你故意測試的問他：「那個女生漂亮嗎？」其實你只是想聽到他說：「傻孩子，當然是你最漂亮。」你害怕自己不夠貼心、不夠聰明、不夠性感，你害怕成為那些兩性書上寫的笨女孩，但你還是忍不住做一堆讓他厭煩的事。你打給他，你無時無刻都想打給他，你害怕他趁你不注意的時候被別的女生吸引走。你說他真的很愛你，可是你不能肯定他有如你想像中的愛你。你好害怕，你好沒自信，你好想成為他心中最完美的女神，但你卻越弄巧成拙。你好沮喪，可是你不能跟他說。

每一次很愛一個人，你總是在想，你們什麼時候會分手。你跟他越甜蜜，你越害怕想像分手的畫面。你說你也想當個瀟灑的人，不要把感情放太重，不要得失心太重。但是每一次你一愛上人，你就失去了平衡。你好害怕，你越愛他，你越怕。你怕你這麼愛他，如果有一天失去他，你該怎麼辦。

每一次很愛一個人，你總是做很多讓你討厭自己的事情。你愛生氣、愛吃醋，你愛胡思亂想，你愛假設、愛懷疑。你說你也不想這樣，但是你被騙過、被傷害過，你從不敢相信自己能遇到不會騙你、不會害你的人。每一次他忘了接你電話，你開始害怕他是不是在劈腿，每一次他沒有打給你，你不斷揣摩過去曾面對的恐懼。你拿著手機，每撥出一次就不斷祈禱，你好害怕聽到「您的電話現在進入語音信箱...」，你好討厭自己，你不應該一直打給他。可是你卻停不了...

每一次很愛一個人，你總是向上帝祈禱，你的愛情能不能有善終。你這麼的努力，你這麼的用力，為什麼最後總是上帝開了你一個大玩笑。

你好恐懼、你好害怕，但是你不敢、也不能跟他說。你怕他討厭你，你怕他不愛你。

你對自己好沒自信，即使所有人都說你是大美女。

你好討厭你自己，因為你總是用你最不喜歡的方式、最愚蠢的方式去愛，你總是讓他輕易的看到你最不堪一擊的那一面，你可以讓他狠狠的傷你，因為你每次都忘了防備。

你好害怕，好害怕現在越快樂，將來一定會越痛苦。你好害怕，你沒有很努力的緊緊握住他，但是你越想緊緊握住，卻越握不住他。

你怕失去他，你卻用最笨的方法，看著自己失去他。

你好愛他，但是你好笨，你不會用任何最聰明的方法去愛，你只是不斷的跟他說，你真的很愛他。

親愛的你，一定不瞭解我們的恐懼。因為我們總是看起來那麼美麗、那麼有自信。

我們多麼希望可以找到一個人，可以讓我永遠都不害怕失去他。我們可以認定對方，不管發生什麼事情，我都不必活在恐懼，不必擔心自己不夠好，不必懷疑自己擁有的快樂，不必害怕自己會失去你。

我們不是那麼聰明、不是真的美麗、也不是看起來有自信。我們要的，只是更多的肯定。讓我們再也不必擔心害怕恐懼懷疑的肯定。我們要的是承諾，即使我們比你還清楚承諾的有效期限。

但是不幸的是，我們明明就知道，當我們越害怕失去，我們就一定會失去。

即使我們總是笨的往失去你的那一條路走 ...

那麼，我為什麼要跟你在一起？




因為我們總是想要說服自己，

每个女生身边都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友

你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。

也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了自己的前程，他没有要你等他。
也许你们相遇太早，
还不懂得珍惜对方。
　　
也许你们相遇太晚，
你们身边已经有了另一个人。
　　
也许你回头太迟，
对方已不再等待。

也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，
而迟迟无法跨出界线。
不过即使你们没在一起，
你们还是保持了朋友的关系。
　　
但是你们心底清楚，
对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。
　　
即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，
你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。
他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，
心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。
　　
他遇到困难时，
你会尽你所能的帮他，
不会计较谁又欠了谁。
　　
男女朋友吃醋了，
你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友，
但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。
每个人这辈子，
心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，
很矛盾的行为。
　　
一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，
但久了，突然发现这样最好。
　　
你宁愿这样关心他，
总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。

你宁愿做他的朋友，
彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。
　　
特别是这样，
你还是知道，
他永远会关心你的。
　　
做不成男女朋友，
当他那个特别的朋友，
有什么不好呢？

study study

I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!
I NEED to STUDY!!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!I need to STUDY!!!

then why on earth am I blogging now?
*arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*
I feel relieved.
fuh~

CNY 2nd day

Mum odered roti jala.Yummy arrrrr.
I wish they have this in Penang too.I tried once Penang punya roti jala,tetapi,make me so disappointed.
Mum invited Tuck to come to my house.After taking his roti jala,I went to his house pulak.Later he suggested that we go to PCB and see how's there.Mind you,although this place is in Malaysia's history,it has been contaminated so much.No worries,there are still the jagung bakar along the road.wuu!food again!

Sweet corn~Yum yum yum,lovIn it
PCB is still the same,that's why i didin't capture any pic there.
Before we left for Hui Min's house,took a few snaps


Xion and me
Thank u fren for being my 1 day driver :)

Cheers!

Chinese New Year@1st Day

It is Chinese New Year!!!!
Mummy gave me this red packet that prints 聪明伶俐

front of it

Back of it..Thanks mummy *muax* xD
Early in the morning,daddy ask the 3 of us to go into his room,he brought out 3 dresses for me,yee and yin.We were stunted,it was so sweet of u dad,thanks :)
Later,Daddy brought us back to Lemal,all my cousins are there,big cousin,small cousin,baby cousin,baby aunty,uncle bla bla.Every year chi chu and ah gor they all will specially make 'kao jam' that is nasi kerabu for us.Awww~It's so yummu yummy yummu,I remember that day my mouth very very busy,i ate 4 plates of rice within 5hours time.phew~I hug and hug and hug everybody there,especially heong and fatt lin.But most of them say I became properous adi,in our family term,properous=fat,simi.FAT FAT,no~~
oh yeah,while in the car,da jie got nth to do and she starts to do this on my head,she keep insisting that I should put it and not take it down :(


Went to Heong's house,met some friends there,Liang Jun was there!!Every year when I go to Heong's house,he always ngam ngam just go off,ish ish ish,at last this year I get to meet this dear friend of mine,we know each other since i'm in form 2,he's a nice friend :)

Liang Jun

and everybody~
In the evening,Heong's mum cook my favourite soup,specially for me *yay*
Later on,uncle told me that she actually cook and waited for me since yesterday,aww~thank u so much aunty.The soup was awesome!I had two bowls,*slurp*~
Ko Pian took out a bottle of red wine,we all took a cup.


The Red Wine
But after I drank..

I became this~wuwa,i dunno how to appreciate red wine,but they all say so NICE,wuwa,not my fault,means that I'm a good girl that dunno how to drink ^^v

till here..

A simple wish

A simple wish

Happy Chinese New year 2010

and lastly..

happy valentines day!

I wish that all the love birds will stay happy and appreciate each other

Cleaning day

Chinese New year is coming,everybody is going home.Last week my roommate edylyn and me decided to clean our room.We cleaned and mop and and sweep and arrange the things.
Firstly,please close ur mouth and don't be so suprised lah~,we pick up everything to sweep..


we mop



e


i wore a black shirt initially,then i went and change,it's too hot,i feel like evaporating~




the floor


after tidying,it's so clean and neat~

muahaha~

my smelly smelly~on my tidy neat neat room~
wuu~

Happy New Year everyone~!

semangat day

Today dunno why so semangat,early early wake up with a smile =.=..so menakutkan.But I felt happiiee!!
Today is my turn to pray in class,we will begin to start a new topic on skin.S.K.I.N.hoho,means we are learning about injection too,victims victims~
suprisingly,Miss Chin changed to tomorrow,tomorrow only will have skin class,means to say,our class ends at 3!!weee~ *loves*
BUT
BUT BUT
she announced that we will be having FON quiz tomorrow,haiz....why must there be a but in any good situations??why?Why?WHy?WHY?
arrrgh!
Should I go for jogging today?
*hmmm*
yes?no?maybe.lol
Have a nice day everyone,will be updating on last night's event,currently sitting in the library :)

爱她就不要骗她上床

I saw this written by a boy in a particular forum,it is touching and true.If guys can think like him,many girls can avoid the hurts.
爱她就不要骗她上床
当你脱下她衣服裤子的同时　你就要负责让她为你穿上婚纱
我是男孩，我理解男孩的心情，我也知道在青春期的时候，我们对女孩，尤其是自己的女友充满了好奇．并且我们都在自己的内心里想过要偷尝禁果。

于是，我们会对自己的女友说出自己的想法，甚到提出性要求。而女孩呢，说真的，当女孩真的爱上男孩的时候，是愿意为男孩做任何的事情。她们为了满足她们心爱男孩的需要，为了不让心爱的男友失望，尽管她们的心里充满恐　惧，一些女孩还是会答应男友的要求。

我想知道的是在发生性关系的时候有多少男孩注意过自己的女孩的表情？在要发生的那一刻，她们脸上表现出来的多半是害怕，焦虑和不安，并不是满足和欲望！在这个时候的我们男孩又在注意什么呢？我们有没有注意到她们的表情？有没有想过她们当时的心里的感受？

我说了我也是男孩，因此，我知道，在那个时候我们最想做的就是让自己的欲望得到发泄，让自己很久的愿望得到实现．曾经我也和很多人一样，想要和自己爱的女孩发生那样的关系，并且向她提出了我的要求，像我说的那样她答应了。我知道当时的她并不知道那意味着什么，也不知道究竟要发生些什么。我猜当时的她只知道：＂这是我男友的愿望，是他想要的，我就要满足他，只要他高兴就好。”女孩真的没有想过其他的事情。

就在我要进入她的身体的时候，我抬起头看了她一眼，当我看到她那双无辜的眼睛紧紧的闭着的时候，我突然发现自己是那么的禽兽不如，难道我曾经对她说过的那些海誓山盟，许下的那些誓言．通通都是在骗她吗　我真的爱她吗　我感觉得到她在发抖　我知道她很害怕于是我轻轻的爬在她的耳边问了她一句：＂你害怕吗？＂她睁开眼睛看着我，我看得到她的泪，她点点头．接着我又说了一句：＂那我们还是不要做了．￣￣￣￣我又再一次看到了，我爱的她美丽的笑容，她抱住了我开心的说了一句：＂我爱你！＂我突然间觉得很开心，很快乐，这些通通胜过了满足我的欲望所能得到的快乐，我发现那个也并不是很重要了，我还有更重要的，那就是她，我最爱的宝贝．

　我说我的故事只是想说一点，当女孩爱上男孩的时候，她们愿意为我们做任何的事情，付出任何的代价而且也不会后悔，但是，我们做为男人是不是也应该为她们做一点事情？学会爱护她们、尊重她们、关心她们，也让她们为拥有我们真挚的爱开心呢？

Girls,learn to protect yourself,don't be too naive and give everything to your him just to please him,in the end,you are the one that lost and hurt.Jia you

The jogging

Recently addicted to jogging,got time only go jog jog jog.Maybe because I'm growing more and more sideways.Bad news.
Gurney Drive is really a nice place,BUT the beach is SMELLY >.<.
Last Wednesday,these two said that they want to go jogging,in the end,I was the only one jog the whole path.They were snapping photo like siao,but later i did join them xD

The tired looks after jogging,ah~the messy hair.

Three of us

I take this post because it means that I acurrently readjusting my life after some loss,I may feel the imbalance,I may fall,BUT i will stand up again!

After that loss,I will sometimes take a rest and thought of the moments when we sit side by side,talking and taking time to understand each other.Do you remember?

looking at the sun set

Tomorrowis another jogging day for me,alone :(

Part of my life

This week I'm in still surgical 2,morning shift.But this week I'm the only junior assign to room 255,that's an open ward.All the others including the seniors are in other rooms.Oh no!That means I will need to manage the patients on my own.Including the bedridden one.
I wanted to perform bed bath of him,but the other friends were having two bed baths themselves @.@.Have to find the staff to do lor:(.This particular patient is from Indonesia,I dun understand his malay :(.Making my life so miserable ar~He started to scream that he's in pain.I felt the pain from his,I kept comforting him and wipe his sweat for him.Suddenly he grip my hand because he was in pain,and then my turn to be painful =.=.He was saying sa...sa..sakit~over and over again,when he grip my hand,my turn to say also,SAKIT arrr!The other patients was quite stable,they only needed assiatant to ambulate them.God is guiding me all the way,usually patient in this room requires many bed baths.I started to talk with one of them,they were praising the staff and students around here,they said that we provide very good care,he feels so at home,BUT the next question he ask me make me stunt:Su Ling,you are from local ar?No..y?Then you got bf ar?Suddenly this question struck me,I remember last time other patients also asked me the same question,I remembered I smiled and answered them sweetly that I already had one,I stared blankly at him and pause for a second,then answered him,no,I am single,then he said:how come,u r such a smart and caring girl,dun tipu uncle lah..wah..at this time,i feel that his sentences suddenly rise to a high level,i become speechless.I just smile politely and said thank u :)
Thursday was the first time I serve medication to patient,I was quite nervous because this is my first time serving medication.I did my 3checks and 5 rights.Serving medication is a serious thing,it is dealing with people's life,I understand the circumstances of serving wrong medication,Miss Chin supervise me.I was a bit late to serve the medication.I took out from the pyxis system and check the physician's order,patient's name and register number.Next I goes to the patient and inform him.I bring the medication to him and ask his name for confirmation and recheck the physician's oerder again.Then I gave him a cup of water,before ging him the medication,I check for the last time.This is 3checks,to make sure I didin't serve wrongly.I prayed that our heavenly father will guide me through,although there were many patients,they were very coorperative,it was easier for me so much,thank God for His grace,everything move smoothly.
Friday-today
2of them discharged.But we had new admission of course,and one of them is my friend!
Today is such a busy day for me,running here and there,phew,it is finished now.I'm really happy with this course,I felt the satisfaction and happiness after helping people,it was great!
After work,I laze around with my darling laptop for a while then walked to gurney.I went to Pulau Tikus first to pay the bill,mak oi,my money,felt as if digi is sucking my blood and laughing evilly.Sakit hatinya~Then later walk to Gurney.I wandered around and saw my friend with her bf,they were so sweet.I walk to the cinema once again,it seems to become my habbit already.Later on I walk to Gurney beach,the sea was beautiful.I sat alone there with my legs dangling and begin to think of things again.Sigh..as I think,tears begin to drop again,I really don't like this.Mei Yi called me after that,from Gurney I walk to Bandar Baru and meet them,amboi,all alone.After makan,we walk back again,today is really a non stop day,I feel like my leg want to patah already,good night everyone.

to my 3 friends

I got the news from dad yesterday.Mrs Teo is gone.I was in college that time,afer receiving the news,i stood there blankly,it was so sudden.She's such a lovely lady,I will miss her.
Dear Lord,I pray that you will give her family strength to overcome this and make them unity,bless them in everything they do.
Stay strong Jing Yang,Shao En,Shao Zhen!

Dad,mum,yin and yee

Everyone came to Penang for er jie's job.Congrats to her for finding a job here^^.
This morning,they came and take me to eat din sum.It was good.

the DIM SUM


very happy de daddy


mummy :)


makan makan


lastly it's me!! i LOVE to eat
this morning punya one and a half hour jog all gone :'(